Discarded KOTOR scene 5872
by crazyocelot
Summary: Have you ever been trying to write a scene, and the characters just ran away with you? A silly scene involving some very uncooperative characters from KOTOR.


The sun shone down on the aqua waters of Manaan, creating a suitably romantic backdrop for the only two human figures standing in that particular section of Ahto city. Danna had just been released from the Selkath courts, much to the relief of an unshaven soldier in a loud orange jacket.

"You gave me a future. I want to give you a future, too: with me." His hand rose up to gently caress her face. "I think I could love you, if you'll give me the chance."

Danna's breath caught in her throat. Her eyes shone with emotion, but still she hesitated. "I can't see into the future. I don't know what's going to happen."

Carth took one of her hands in both of his and waited until she met his gaze to continue. "Neither do I. But does that really matter, if we love each other?"

Danna searched his face, as if looking for something. Evidently she found it, as she smiled and said, "I guess not. I think I-"

"NOOOO!" A deep male voice bellowed, startling all the nearby Selkath.

Danna and Carth turned to see what had caused such an untimely disruption –and froze upon seeing the menacing figure before them.

"Malak?" Danna said in confusion as she readied her lightsabers. "What are you doing on Manaan? Seriously, how did you even get permission to dock?"

Malak ignored her questions. "Finding yourself a little slice of happiness, Revan? How convenient for you. You mess with me, drag me down into the dark side, then pull away from me because I've become a weakness for you. Then through the interference of the Jedi council, your memories are revoked and you're given a free chance to redeem yourself, along with a very convenient love interest. Has it occurred to anyone that this isn't fair–"

_Malak, that's enough._

Three heads swiveled wildly to see where the voice had come from, but the only creatures surrounding them were Selkath.

"Who said that?" Carth demanded.

_I did. Malak, you're not even supposed to be in this scene. The Onasi Order is going to be very upset with you for interrupting such a tender moment._

"The Onasi what?" Carth asked, bewildered.

"But I'm tired of being just a two-dimensional villain," Malak whined. "Nobody understands me. I'm never given a chance to tell my side of the story."

_That's what the prequel fanfics are for. Well, that and because it drives us all nuts that the game writers never tell us how you lost your jaw._

"Yeah, I've gotta say, I've been wondering about that," Danna admitted. "We haven't really been on good enough terms for me to ask, but in one of my visions I saw you with your jaw intact, so it kind of made me curious…"

"You went there when it happened!" Malak glowered at the woman in front of him.

"Jedi council… memories revoked… you were just ranting about it, remember?" A puzzled look came over Danna's face. "Wait a minute, what game writers? What game? What does that mean?"

_Oops. Umm… nothing. Just ignore that part. The important thing is to get the scene back on track…_

"Malak?" Bastila called, coming up from behind him. "What's taking so long? I thought you were just going to… wait, Revan? You're standing here chatting with Revan?" She gave him an accusing glare.

_Oh, for Pete's sake. You're not in this scene, either. At this point, you're both supposed to plotting on the Star Forge_

"Both plotting… but that means… Bastila, you've fallen to the dark side!" Carth said in horror.

"Brilliant deduction, Carth," Bastila sneered. "What gave it away? The Sith robes? The fact that my lightsaber is now red? My skin tone having lost all its colour? Or the big booming voice coming out of the sky?" She looked up. "What _is_ that voice, anyway?"

_sigh I'm the writer. Theoretically, you're all supposed to listen to me._

"We're supposed to listen to you? Why should we, when we don't know anything about you?" Carth asked.

"Enough with the paranoia, already!" Bastila rolled her eyes. "Give it a rest for once, would you? It gets really annoying really quickly."

"Kind of like your 'Jedi knows best' attitude," Carth shot back.

"Alright, alright. If we could get past the petty bickering…" Danna turned her eyes skyward. "Okay, so you're a writer. How exactly does that involve us?"

_You don't want to know. It'll turn your whole world upside down._

Malak turned his head sideways, trying to get an idea of what Manaan would look like inverted.

_I didn't mean that literally, Malak! Now, if you could all just… you know what, forget it. This whole scene has gotten way out of hand. I think I'm just going to have to start over._

"Start over? What do you mean? I'm not getting my memories erased again, am I?" Danna looked worried.

_No, that's not necessary. The beauty of writing fanfic is that I can make up an alternate reality and discard it without any of you realizing how many past and future lives you've lived through._

"So… you're writing us?" Malak still sounded confused. "Does that mean we're fictional characters, or is this a non-fiction retelling of historical events?"

_It really doesn't matter, Malak. I'm not going to continue the scene. You and Bastila crashing the party wasn't supposed to happen, so now I have to start over. You folks continue to do whatever to want to desecrate the scene._

"But… now I'm confused!" Malak wailed. "I need to know whether or not I exist!"

All four of them waited for a response, but were only met with silence.

"I guess she's gone," Bastila said, sounding uneasy.

"Well, she did say she wasn't going to continue with this scene," Danna pointed out. "Although I'm still not really sure what that means…"

"NO!" Malak cried. "She can't be gone! She left so many unanswered questions!"

"We don't have to worry about theology, Malak, we're Sith!" Bastila said. "Now how about we finish off Revan and Captain Paranoia over there and continue on with our plot to rule the galaxy."

"Hey!" Carth protested. "Captain Paranoia? That was uncalled for."

"Well…" Danna exchanged a look with Bastila.

"I don't feel like killing anyone," Malak pouted. "I need to sit and meditate or… something."

"Meditate? Some Sith Lord you are," Bastila grumbled. "Alright, fine. We'll meditate. But then we get to pull out the kink. And when they make it to the Star Forge, I get to slaughter them both."

"Fine."

With that, Malak and Bastila disappeared in the direction they'd come from.

"Well, that was weird," Danna said.

"I'm not paranoid! I'm cautious! There's a difference."

"Are you sulking?"

"No."

"Good. So…" Danna pressed up against Carth and wrapped her arms around him. "Where were we before that interruption?"

Carth sighed. "There's not really much point now. The mood's kind of been broken. Let's just get back to the ship so we can find Bastila."

"You're right. If we hurry, we can still save her from the dark side."

"Dark side, nothing. She called me paranoid! Now I'm after revenge."

Danna rolled her eyes, hoping that when the writer redid the scene, things wouldn't work out to be quite so strange the second time around.


End file.
